Three instructors and their students are on board a dive boat
in the middle of the ocean. There is a NAUI instructor, a PADI
instructor, and an SSI instructor.
Everything is going fine until the boat springs a leak and starts to sink.
The SSI instructor says to his students, "Okay, we're in the middle of the ocean, so we might as well do our deep dive."
The NAUI instructor says to his students, "Okay, we might as well do our
navigation dive, so let's get our compasses out and swim
towards shore." The PADI instructor says to his
students, "Okay, for $25 extra you guys get to do a wreck
dive!"
My SCUBA instructor always stressed that you should never
go diving alone. If you have equipment problems, your buddy
can help you. If you run out of air, your buddy can help you.
If you meet an aggressive shark, your odds are 50-50
instead of 100%.
Two divers go spear fishing. They catch a lot of fish and
return to the shore.
The first one says, "I hope you remember the spot where we
caught all those fish."
The other answers, "Yes, I made an 'X' on the side of the
boat to mark the spot."
"You idiot!" cries the first, "How do you know we will get the
same boat tomorrow?"
Does your buddy hate you if: -
a. He gives you the "wait here" sign and you are still on the
boat?
b. He "forgets" to close your dry suit zipper?
c. When you give him the out of air signal, he passes you his
snorkel?
d. When you indicate you are low on air, he writes on his
slate "I'll get you some" and swims off?
e. You give him the "OK" signal and he gives you the finger?
f. He spits in your mask for you, but you haven't taken it off
yet?
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